Too sick for school? Parents weigh competing priorities

Implications

In most families, parents make decisions about whether children are too sick to attend school. In some cases, this decision is clear, such as if the child is vomiting, has a high fever, or has a contagious condition that could spread to classmates or teachers. In other circumstances, parents have to guess at whether their child’s report of “not feeling well” represents a sufficient reason to miss school. When that child is in middle school/junior high or high school, these parent decisions incorporate a range of factors. For example, parents take into account whether their child needs rest and monitoring, or if they can handle the strain of crowded hallways and changing classrooms and teachers.

Grades often become more important in middle and high school. Two-thirds of parents in this Mott Poll believed their child worries about the negative consequences of missing class, and many parents include academic considerations in their decisions about whether their child should attend school when sick. Typically, parents may view their child’s concern about academics as a positive indicator that they are striving to do well in school; however, in some cases, a child’s refusal to stay home when sick may indicate anxiety about school performance. Other parents may recognize that a child’s request to stay home on the day of a test may reflect their lack of preparation or anxiety about performing well. In making decisions about whether a child should miss school, parents should listen carefully as their child talks about academic considerations to get a better sense of what may be prompting their child’s attitude.  

One in five parents in this Mott Poll said they consider whether their child needs a mental health day. This may reflect parents’ recognition of the increase in mental health concerns among children in recent years. Some aspects of the school setting, such as social or academic pressure, may lead children with mental health disorders to miss school to sustain their well-being. Additionally, in some instances, face-to-face interactions may trigger or exacerbate mental health issues, such as a breakup with a romantic partner, a falling out with friends, or an embarrassing incident shared on social media. It is understandable that children would be hesitant to face their peers in such situations, but allowing children to miss school any time they expect an unpleasant or challenging social interaction is unsustainable.

In balancing their decisions about allowing their child a mental health day, parents may want to consider the purpose of the day away from school. It may be an opportunity to help their child plan how to handle interactions, practice strategies to stay calm and ease anxiety, and identify specific peers, teachers or staff who could be sources of support. For children who have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety or another mental health condition, parents may consult with their child’s mental health provider for guidance.

Nearly all parents in this Mott Poll indicated that their child’s middle or high school has an attendance policy, and most felt that having a policy was necessary to ensure that children attend school regularly. This seems reasonable, as truancy or excessive absenteeism is linked to poor school performance and dropping out prior to graduation.

Compliance with school attendance policies can be particularly challenging for children with chronic medical conditions. These children typically have more healthcare visits and may need to travel to see specialists, which causes more school absences. Moreover, these parents may have been instructed to act on early signs of illness to avoid an exacerbation of the child’s illness. It may be helpful for parents of children with chronic medical conditions to inform school personnel about the likelihood of health-related absences, enlisting the child’s healthcare providers for support in requesting school flexibility in completing assignments at home or with additional time.