Parent efforts insufficient to promote teen independence

Implications

As children become teenagers, the role of parents shifts to helping them gain the knowledge and experience they will need for being independent adults. This process of transitioning from childhood to adulthood encompasses all aspects of life, from preparing for work and financial responsibility, to taking care of one’s health and well-being.

Results of this Mott Poll demonstrate that parents may be overestimating their efforts to support teen independence. Although 87% of parents agreed that they are doing enough to prepare their teen for adulthood, parents gave relatively low ratings of their teen’s ability to handle basic tasks – even for teens 17-18 years, who are at the cusp of adulthood.

Parents gave the lowest ratings of teen independence for tasks related to healthcare. When it comes to their teen’s health, parents may feel responsible for ensuring that appropriate care is received and medical advice followed. However, this Mott Poll did not ask about life-or-death healthcare matters; rather, parents were asked if teens could independently handle very basic tasks, such as taking care of minor injuries, figuring out the correct dose of a medication, or calling to make a doctor’s appointment.

An additional challenge is that opportunities for teens to practice handling healthcare matters occur infrequently; moreover, when teens are not feeling well due to illness or injury, parents may be hesitant to push their teen to handle certain tasks. While this is understandable, parental over-involvement impedes teens from gaining experience and confidence. A better approach for parents may be to position themselves as a back-up resource, to be consulted only if the teen cannot handle the matter independently.

It is clear that parents recognize the tension in helping teens move toward independence. Universally, parents agree that it’s important for teens to have chances to make mistakes; often, valuable learning experiences result from teens facing the consequences of a poor decision. At the same time, parents believe that they should prevent teens from making mistakes that are too serious – those that may have significant and/or long-term consequences. It is unclear whether parents weigh which situations may offer their teens a useful learning experience vs those that require close parental oversight to prevent a serious and lasting negative consequence.

Some parents cited their teen’s lack of maturity or knowledge as reasons the teen was not becoming more independent. This belief is not a justification for parents to delay efforts to promote their teen’s independence. Instead, parents can establish specific milestones, and create opportunities to mentor their teens in gaining experience and confidence while reaching those goals.

Finally, some respondents acknowledged that parents themselves can be the biggest barrier to teens moving toward independence. In many respects, parents are correct that it is quicker and less hassle to handle tasks themselves; however, this view is short-sighted, and robs teens of a critical learning period where they can accumulate knowledge and skills for the future, while still at home with parents to provide guidance and support as needed. Parents of teens should look for regular opportunities to involve teens as much as possible in managing their own health, well-being and money matters, even if it takes a little more time.